KelCor Grows Up

As I was getting ready for bed tonight, I thought about how funny it would be for me to make a “Get ready for bed with me!” video for Instagram:

“Come get ready for bed with me, a single, 42-year-old woman who is living in her parents’ basement!”

“First, I say good night to mom and dad who are still up watching TV! Thanks for letting me live in your basement, guys!”

“Next, I brush my teeth, take off all my jewelry [taking off one set of cheap earrings] and all my makeup [wiping off crusty remains of mascara].”

“Let’s do our skincare routine! [usually nothing, sometimes lotion].

“Ok, now time for my favorite products: duloxetine for OCD, progesterone for perimenopause, and Advil because everything hurts all the time!” [tapping fingernails on each medication bottle]

“Now, just in case I actually do fall asleep at some point tonight (teehee!), I better have my CPAP ready! Fill the water tank with distilled water, wipe the crusty drool out of the mask, and voila! Beauty rest, I’m coming for ya!”

“Now I take off all my clothes and get into bed in my underwear because I’m always so hot pajamas make me feel like I’m burning in Hell!”

“Ok, the only thing left is to watch zit-popping videos on my phone until my brain numbs out enough for me to fall asleep! 3 or 4 hours should do the trick!”

Sweet dreams!