At 5:11 AM today, I turned 43. I had some spicy insomnia last night and didn’t fall asleep until about 4 AM, and now I think I should have stayed awake another hour to ring in my newest year. When I was very little, I got up around 5:00 every morning. At two years old,…

I’m gonna tell ya all the shit I’ve done to try and get better mental and physical health over the past 15 years. I’m a hot mess so it hasn’t worked but it somehow makes me feel better to see a list that shows I’m fuckin’ TRYING. Dr Lewis, GP (Celexa) Therapy with Cameron Dr…

I saw a post on Instagram that said something like, “If you could speak to yourself ten years ago, but you only have 60 seconds, what would you say?” Because I am terrible at remembering any kind of date, I opened my photo app and went to August 2016. What was I doing ten years…

For the last couple years, I have been obsessed with a band called Viagra Boys. Yep, I’m a 42-year-old goody-goody Mormon woman who loves a band that sounds like it should only appeal to frat dudes and/or middle school kids. They are a post-punk rock group out of Sweden who have songs called things like,…

It’s 10:30 in the morning on Saturday. I’m sitting in a booth at a McDonalds near my parents’s house, slowly making my way through a bacon egg and cheese bagel with a hash brown on the side. Obviously the most important part of this meal is the Diet Coke. It’s surprisingly crowded – moms with…

Plenty of people will tell you that at age 18, you are an official adult. You can vote, you can join the military. If you’re Macaulay Culkin or my very mature high school friend, Rebecca, you can get married. When I was 18, I had kissed exactly three boys. I had never made myself a…

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